The Bos Lady and I went out for supper tonight. Nothing fancy; just Boston Pizza. We even took Kevin (the Social Animal) along as he was a little down after dropping more than 300 bucks on his little Tempo. Well, Kev was more than a little down. His face was so long I thought Mr. Ed was sitting across from us. Him or Sarah Jessica Parker. But I digress. Our dining experience makes an appearance here at RiverCityAlberta because of our server. I didn’t catch her name but it had to be Ann. As in Ann Droid. We think she’s a prototype android Hospitality Server, designed by some tall foreheads in Ontario.
"Hiya, folks, I’ll be your server tonight. Can I start you off with some drinks?" Ann queried in a bubbly, folksy fashion.
We ordered drinks in turn: water, water and coffee, chocolate milk. I really wanted a Coke but I remembered at the last second that if I ordered a Coke, Ann would ask: "Would Pepsi be okay?" and I’d borrow that comedian’s line (Brian Regan’s?): "Is Monopoly money okay?" So I went with the coffee.
"And do you need a few more minutes to decide on your meals?" questioned Ann. Same bubbles, same folksy.
"Yes, please," answered The Bos Lady.
"You betcha!" came Ann’s response in a cheery voice loud enough to trigger several car alarms in the parking lot. The Bos Lady offered a witty repartee about that and Ann laughed so hard it may have been the funniest joke ever told. Programming feature, we supposed.
Ann skedaddled off and the three of us looked at each other, each raised an eyebrow and cocked our heads as in: Woo-hoo, what was that all about? Ann seemed to us to be a cross between Valley Girl with every sentence ending in a rising inflection and Farm Girl with the rooty folks and you betcha! tossed in for good measure. An android designed by easterners to fit in here in the land of rednecks and pickup trucks. Jane Deere meets Barbie Doll.
As we ate and conversed, Ann appeared several times with this and that, and that and this. I bet she appeared more times than M.A.S.H. shows on Deja View. And every time she came with liberal splashes of folks and you betcha!
We think the eastern brains need to do some tweaking on these western Hospitality Server androids. Maybe tone down the down-home hick speech patterns and add in a slightly snooty air of culture many easterners think we need so badly. Yes, indeed. Yep, you betcha!
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